These tweets from @OfRedAndBlue are very important.
My ninja Neil deGrasse Tyson roasting with truth and logic, lol.
Well, if he wants to run for office, I’d vote for him.
Some of your blog themes are using ridiculously small font sizes. I often have to zoom to 200% to read things and usually that makes the elements on the page go bonkers. Your super important thoughts just aren’t worth that kind of trouble.
Lets forget about old farts like me who have a slightly hard time seeing things—there are plenty of folks with vision related disabilities that could benefit from more reasonable font sizes.
With that in mind, here are some theme tips from your pal, Froggie…
- Pick a theme that allows you to have —at minimum— a 12pt font. 14pt would be my preferred size. That way, even if someone does need to zoom (Ctrl +/- on your keyboard) they won’t have to zoom quite as much—giving a better chance that the page will retain its design integrity. If you choose a font size of 6, I will hire a monkey to poop inside all your left socks.
- Make sure that your font color and background have decent contrast. Light text should be placed on a dark background, dark text on a light background. If you place white text on a super light gray background, I will send a very charming wombat to seduce your lover and snapchat you pictures of their erotic encounters.
- Text colors should probably be limited to black, white and gray. Sometimes dark colors with low color saturation are acceptable too. I know you really like neon purple, but some people might stab themselves in the eye. You are endangering their ocular health. You don’t want that kind of guilt hanging on your conscience.
- Make sure that your navigation is easy to find and big enough to see even at a glance. Sometimes I feel like I am hunting for Waldo just trying to find a damned “next page” button. It should be under your last post at the bottom of the page. It should have big letters, possibly with an enthusiastic arrow. If I have to scroll the top of your page and use a microscope to find your ‘next’ button… a surly aardvark will steal your tax forms, erase your real name, and replace it with Dildo Baggins.
- Make sure your ask, about me, and other buttons of importance are in a logical place and are easily readable. Typically at the top of your sidebar is a great spot.
- Always double check to make sure your links work as intended. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen silly mistakes like htt://blahblah.tumlr.corn
- Make sure any clutter on your page is worth it. Every element you put on your page has to be loaded. There are many with slower connections who may have to wait an annoyingly long time for sites to load. It’s possible that your supercool globe with all the flags of people visiting isn’t as necessary as you think.
- You might also put a link to your mobile site on your page so people with slow connections can just load the essentials.
- Endless scrolling is nice in theory, but it is often very unreliable. Especially when used with 50 to 100 pages. For people with older, slower computers it will crash constantly. And if you are like me, and require a lot of pageviews for business purposes, it can really mess up your site statistics.
- Consider avoiding posts with a great deal of blockquotes. Perhaps even edit the post and remove any parts that are irrelevant so that there are as few blockquotes as possible. If you do not, you risk blockquotes shooting off the side of your page and there is absolutely no way to discern what is being said. If you reblog something with 50 or more blockquotes, highly trained ninja raccoons will just judge you silently while twiddling their cute little thumbs.
- Lastly, if you have a music player on your blog, please disable autoplay.
I have recently signed a contract with a fire breathing dragon. If you still have autoplay on your blog at midnight, September 1, he will hunt you down. He will summon angry thermite fires from the depths of his bowels. He will look you dead in the eyes—his nostrils flaring with puffs of white hot fire so intense, your skin begins to peel. He will move in closer so you can feel his exhales on your shoulders. They will bead up with sweat with every passing breath.
And when you tell him you think “autoplay is actually pretty neat!”…
His eyes will glow orange, burning your retinas. A great grumble will churn in his stomach as he pushes the flames toward his esophagus. He will open his mouth wide and you will see the blaze gurgling in the back of his throat…
He will then sit you down in a comfy chair and give you a stern talking to about how autoplay sucks total balls. It sucks, like, at least 80 balls. On a 10 ball scale.
-And I’m Emily.
We make “funny videos” on the Internet.
-But soon, we might not be able to.
…net neutrality is in jeopardy. Net Neutrality is the principle that says ISPs can’t discriminate between different types of traffic.
That means that…
…whether you’re a bedroom music producer, a couple on an amateur porn site, or just someone with a start up idea - you get access to the same users as Netflix, Facebook or Amazon. On the Internet, anyone can succeed.
…America’s ISPs wanna set up a pay-for-play system where rich companies pay extra to get to those users first.
If this happens…
…instead of a wonderful playground if innovation that it is now, the Internet will become like cable TV where you can only get stuff that’s been pre-approved by a bunch of old rich guys.
Ten years from now…
…your Internet bill could be a bigger “fustercluck” than your cable bill.
Now, you might be thinking…
…isn’t the government supposed to protect me from fragrant doucheholery like this?
…the former chairman of the FCC (government agency that’s SUPPOSED to protect you) is now the cable industry’s head lobbyist. And another former cable industry lobbyist is now the CURRENT head of the FCC.
…we can’t trust the FCC to make the right decision on their own. That’s why WE need to protect the Internet we love. The chaotic, AWESOME, often quite weird, place where literally everyone’s voice can be heard.
In a few months…
…the FCC will approve this festering soal of proposal unless we speak up. The Internet is one of the few places where human voices speak louder than money. So while that’s still the case, let’s use those voices. Go to DEARFCC.ORG and tell them to protect Net Neutrality. Thanks for doing your part to protect the Internet.
Contact FCC at https://dearfcc.org/
IF DEARFCC.ORG IS DOWN, simply go to good oldhttp://www.savetheinternet.com/
All GIFS are courtesy of our new friend, RANDY!
I don’t know who did all these, but I tip my hat to them.
the only way I’ll wake up early
japanese prank shows are on a whole other level
i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”